Nebulous warmth brought new halo shines to my reflection. I hate that I have to miss you now. I mean it is not that I have to, it is who I am. You interfered with my messy loneliness only to be able to bring to surface some long lost inert struggles. Of belonging and relying. Of understanding and sharing. Of caring and giving.
I thought I killed them all with indifference. With being. Simply being. You proved me wrong, you have awakened them with perfect smiles and acts of pure kindness. Attachment came out of thin air. My daemons are now roused. Their growling hunger of connecting to the outside world needs to be dealt with.
Change is here. I can no longer simply be.
I have to be
You’ve been good to me, 2013. I truly appreciate it. I am ready to outgrow my achievements, now. Enough with the resolutions, the lists of the must-dos and the must-haves.
Be. Live a little. Or a more.
Enjoy present times. Loosen ties of the past and leave the concern of the future. 2014 will be great. The greatest year you’ll have yet. Make the best of it. Allow yourself room for mistake. Live.
May you all have a Happy New Year, dear people! Dare to keep positive most of the times and to live up to your high expectations.
It seems I keep my last year’s wish for you: Simply be yourselves.
I’m always on the lookout for discount flight tickets to Tallinn, but unfortunately Bucharest and the Estonian capital are not connected through a direct route so the costs are not a bargain.
I had the great privilege of living in Tallinn for more than half a year and it grew very dearly on me. As winter creeps in, I become more melancholic, I think. I started remembering little details that bring me back one year ago. An alley with golden leaves instantly sent me to Kadriorg Park. Decided to share some photos with you.
A bit of that Tallinn autumn still lingers in my mind.
I used to walk by this painted wall and think of how the artist might have come up with the idea. Boring rainy day in Tallinn might lead to playing with pets since human companionship is rather scarce. Estonians are quite loners.
Just another sunny Saturday at my granny’s place. Autumn is here. Patterns, colours, good feelings – also here. Summer’s long gone, yet parts of it still linger on my finger tips. I guess it’s the reward of autumn, it lures you with various tastes and decides it’s time for you to go into a deep emotional state. One you’ve been neglecting for the past three months. Melancholia. Grounded. Enjoying the muddy reward of hard work.
Blessed to still have a caring grandmother who looks after and makes sure an entire household with animals, crops, and vines blooms. She is an angel. And you can see her kindness in these colors.
Let’s forget about the changing weather, the coldness of the autumn that is slowly crawling in and just keep on smiling.
I find it interesting that if you fake a smile, your brain still reacts to the movement of the facial muscles and ultimately, your smile becomes real. Charles Darwin first posed the idea that emotional responses influence our feelings in 1872. “The free expression by outward signs of an emotion intensifies it” he believed. Mimicry. I’ll give it a try. Fake it till you make it, they say. They might be right.
I like airports, as they usually are hives of restless energy.
The excitement of people heading distant places thrills me. It somehow charges my batteries with optimism and gives me reasons to constantly be day-dreaming: I too shall travel around the earth for work or pleasure and it will enrich my life experiences with more than words could ever describe.
The arrival of a dear one does not cause distress to me. I love that waiting. I simply do. It fills me up with joy and I quite get lost in other people’s happy reuniting moments. The reactions you can read on faces are priceless. Then follow the grand gestures of holding each other, heart warming vibes flow out of the embrace. At last, a glimpse of a familiar face brings silly grinning to one’s face.
Of course, being the designated driver to and from the airport for my family members always had its perks. However, I think these so-called favours were part of my growing up and becoming responsible. I’ve tested my punctuality, reactions to high-level stress and experienced more emotional fluctuations a harmoniser would ever have to stand. The final hugs and wishes of good fortune, they all took great deal of working with one’s self to master powerful emotions.
Happy goodbyes take loads of practice.
How do you handle them?