I’m leaving Tallinn today. Who knows for how long.
Many good-byes and see yous were said between the people I have come to meet here in Erasmus time. Emotional. Touchy. However, it seems that the hardest one is yet to come. How can I part with this city I knew nothing about, had no expectations about, but which grew on me so dearly during the last 6 months?
Took some lonely walks. I was uselessly trying to keep a mental image of everything. It won’t work. Pictures? They’re good. They might help but if you don’t have a special bond with the sights, you might not feel with the same intensity the connection of warm nestling in one dear, dear place, no matter how icy and cold it might be.
Said good bye to the swans by the frozen sea shore the other day, such sweet creatures. Still friendly despite the cold. Oh, Tallinn, how i will miss you! The butterflies in my stomach are beginning to sing a chaotically broken song. How I hate this almost bitter-salty taste of growing sadness that petrifies your speech and thoughts. I must go, now.
Stay impressive, lovable and joyful, wild but dignifying as I know you. Keep on growing on other people coming into your life. After all, this is your job. Ah, it hurts to know I was only one of your many and that you will go on. But that is life.
Well, I should be going home now, dear. Whatever that might still mean.
See you! See you soon!